


what a beautiful sight, to see you alive

by sebbykurt



Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Five Plus One, High School AU, M/M, i edited it so that the spacers are back in, literally this is the dumbest thing i have ever written, lord only knows why they got deleted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-19
Updated: 2014-04-19
Packaged: 2018-01-19 22:33:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1486570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sebbykurt/pseuds/sebbykurt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternatively titled: Five Times Daryl Dixon Kissed Rick Grimes and the One Time He Actually Got It</p>
            </blockquote>





	what a beautiful sight, to see you alive

**Author's Note:**

> Basically a loud of nonsense I've had rattling around in my brain. Shameless fluff and dumb boys in love because that's what my entire life revolves around.

**i.**

Rick feels kind of stupid about it, especially when Daryl starts laughing like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever fucking heard. 

“Jesus Dixon, what’s so fucking _funny_?”  His cheeks are hot with embarrassment as he looks back down at his notebook, squinting at his Latin homework until he realizes that it’s actually _Trigonometry_ and, yeah, _he’s really fucking embarrassed_.

Daryl slaps a hand down on his friend’s shoulder and Rick wishes he could say it doesn’t make him feel at least a little better.  “Nothin’, nothin’.  It’s just…do you really think you’re that _great_ of a kisser?  Who have you ever even kissed, ‘sides Lori?” 

At this point, Rick kind of hopes that his bed opens up and swallows him whole.

“Just drop it, alright?”

“I _would_ if I didn’t think you were _lying_ just to seem all high and mighty.  You may be smarter than me, but there’s no way in _hell_ you’re a better kisser.”

Rick tries his hardest not to think of it like a challenge, but his dumb heart betrays him and starts to pound like a rabbit’s foot against his ribcage.

 _Kissing Daryl Dixon_.

God, he’s only been fantasizing about it since, like, the fifth fucking grade.

Daryl scoots forward, until their knees are touching and they’re facing each other.  “Lay one on me, then.”

“Oh my _God_ , **_Daryl_**.”

The taller boy just leans even closer, until Rick can smell the smoke on his breath and _shit_ , why does smoking have to look so hot on Daryl?  Why does _everything_ have to look so hot on Daryl?

“It ain’t gay or nothin’,” Daryl says this as if to _assure_ him, like Rick ever gave a _shit_ about sexuality.  “Promise.”

Rick bites his bottom lip and tries not to think about the way Daryl’s eyes slip to his mouth.  “What do I get if I win?”

Daryl snorts.  “The satisfaction of knowing that you actually _beat_ me for once in your miserable life.”

They’re laughing when their lips touch, and it isn’t fireworks or life-changing or anything, but Rick still thinks it ends too soon.  There’s hardly enough tongue and he doesn’t even get the chance to bite on Daryl’s bottom lip but hey, whatever.  His fingers are still shaking and his eyes refuse to open even as Daryl pulls away.

“Not bad,” Daryl tells him, and when Rick opens his eyes again, the other boy is smiling like he just won the lottery.  “But you definitely don’t win.”

And, yeah, Rick agrees with that, because even that simple little press of their mouths was a major turn-on and it doesn’t really look like Daryl feels the same way.

He huffs and ducks his head, rolling his eyes because they _never_ take things seriously.  “Whatever, Dixon.”

**ii.**

“Aren’t we a little too old for this?”

Everyone in their little group groans as Lori asks yet _another_ stupid question, acting like some stick-in-the-mud buzzkill just because she turned eighteen before everybody else and automatically assumed that it made her more mature. 

Andrea elbows her in the ribs and tells her to shut up while Shane grabs an empty beer bottle and sets it spinning.

“Spin The Bottle, damn _nerds_ ,” Daryl grumbles, bending to whisper the words in Rick’s ear.  But they’re both a little drunk and everyone hears and they all just laugh because they’re a whole bunch of _idiots_.

Shane’s spin lands on Michonne and that’s pretty much the funniest thing in the whole world.  Rick can’t keep himself from laughing when Michonne slaps him across the face for trying to grab her ass.

Shane falls back with a sharp yelp, glaring daggers across the circle at the smirking girl.  “Fuck _you_.” 

Her smile only widens.  “Last I checked, that’s not the game we’re playing.” 

They shit around like this for a little bit, spinning and laughing and drinking.  (The only Not Funny part is when Daryl has to kiss Glenn but Rick easily forgets about it when Andrea has to kiss Lori.  Well, maybe not _easily_.  He just stops dwelling on it as much and it’s not like he’ll remember it in the morning, anyway.)

Eventually, his turn rolls around and everyone is betting that it’s going to land on Lori.  She tells everyone to go fuck themselves but shoots Rick a smile because she’s literally an _angel_ and he still wishes he could have liked her a little more.  “It’s okay if it does.  I like kissing you.”

He likes kissing her too, but he doesn’t say so because he doesn’t want to get her hopes up.  Daryl grumbles under his breath and that’s probably answer enough, really.

The alcohol to blood ratio in his body isn’t really evening out so well, so when the bottle spins and lands on Daryl, well

Rick just kind of sits there for a few moments, staring at the thing like it’s _offended_ him somehow.

People are cheering but he doesn’t really wrap his head around it until Daryl is tugging at the collar of his shirt and telling him to “ _pucker up, douchebag_.”

The kiss is sloppy and _teeth_.  _Wow_ , so much teeth. 

Rick tries to focus, tries to treasure the moment or something, but his brain is slow to catch up and Daryl is already pulling away, wiping at his mouth with the back of his arm and punching Glenn’s arm when he tries to give him a high-five.

Lori is looking at Rick like she knows something he doesn’t so he takes a giant gulp of beer and laughs when Daryl bumps their shoulders together.

**iii.**

The summer before Rick’s first year of college is kind of awesome.  Parties and sex and _gallons_ of alcohol.  Rick easily pins it as the best three months of his life.

That is, until now.

Now, he and Daryl are sitting out on Rick’s back porch and Daryl has already smoked three cigarettes without saying a single word.  It makes Rick nervous.

It had been a random decision, really, to live on campus.  His parents had been arguing over something stupid and Glenn was already dorming so he decided, right then and there, to check the _Live on Campus_ box on all of his forms.  Rick hadn’t thought about Daryl until the ink was dry, the papers were folded up, and he was dropping the envelopes off in the mailbox.

He had begged his parents to call the university and see if he could change it somehow, but they told him it was time to start sticking to his decisions and that was the end of it.

“I’ll come back every weekend,” he blurts.  “And on holidays.  And it’s not even that far away, so you can come visit me whenever you want.  I mean, I think there are visiting hours but I can always sneak you in if I have to.”  He’s rambling and he knows it, but Daryl isn’t looking at him and he kind of wants to die.

Suddenly, Daryl kicks out of his chair and jumps off the porch, motioning without words for Rick to follow him into the yard.

Rick is scared that Daryl might try to like, _punch_ him or something, but he’d go to the ends of the earth for Daryl and if that means taking a few punches along the way then so be it.  So he follows.

They end up sprawled in the grass, pointing out constellations that don’t actually exist like they did when they were younger.  Daryl points out a cluster of stars that he thinks looks like a crossbow and Rick slaps his hand away, laughing so hard that he has to sit up and rub tears from his eyes.

Daryl sits up too but he isn’t laughing anymore.  He’s just looking at Rick with these big doe eyes that he will later vehemently deny he doesn’t actually have.  (Which he _totally_ does.)

“You’re sure you’ll come back a lot?”  He turns his head away as he asks this, picking anxiously at the grass caught between his fingers. 

“All the time,” Rick assures him. 

Their eyes meet and Rick has to bite his tongue to keep from crying like a little girl.

When they kiss this time, Rick is reminded of the way he watched Michonne kiss Andrea goodbye before she boarded the plane to Chicago.  Simple and chaste because a hug wasn’t strong enough to convey just how hard it was to say goodbye.

And even though that’s all this is, Rick still wants to pull Daryl close and never let him go.

But Daryl isn’t gay and Rick doesn’t really know if _he_ is, either, so he doesn’t.

**iv.**

“This is _shit_.”  Daryl is staring down at the cup of coffee in front of him like he’s just discovered his mortal enemy.

With a snort, Rick takes a sip of his own, watching his friend over the rim of his cup.  “You’re probably the only person on the whole planet who thinks so.” 

Daryl grumbles something unintelligible under his breath.  While he busies himself with the apparently painful task of taking another sip, Rick looks over the other boy’s shoulder at the group of English majors sitting a few tables behind them. 

Ted—or is it Thomas?—is a kid in Rick’s Prob Stat class who’s been flirting with him like there’s no tomorrow, winks and all, and Rick has been ( _shamelessly_ ) flirting right back.

Rick looks away with a blush as Ted/Thomas shoots him a million dollar smile across the coffee shop.

Any questions about Rick’s sexuality were pretty much answered the moment he laid eyes on all of the super-hot college guys.  He guesses he still likes girls, because he’s hooked up with a couple at parties and they still get his motors running or whatever, but he doesn’t like pussy quite as much as he likes dick.

“Somethin’ wrong?”

Rick is brought back to reality by the sound of Daryl’s voice. 

His friend is watching him with narrowed eyes and Rick kind of hates his body for making every single one of his more embarrassing emotions so painfully obvious. 

“Just, uh…you’re kind of right about the coffee.”  He clears his throat and rubs awkwardly at the back of his neck.  “I ordered somethin’ new and it’s _awful_.”

Daryl nods but his eyes are still worried.  Like he doesn’t believe Rick even a little bit.

They stay there for at least another hour, laughing over coffee that Rick can’t admit he thinks tastes like heaven and that Daryl can confidently say tastes like cow manure.  Rick talks about Glenn and Maggie while Daryl tells Rick all about the trouble Shane’s been getting himself into.

They don’t leave until the shop owner kicks them out with a good-natured smile and Daryl shoots her the bird behind her back.

For a few minutes, they lean with their backs to Daryl’s truck, refusing to leave each other when they know that it might be a few months before they can hang out like this again.

Daryl snatches a cigarette out of his back pocket and lights it with a familiar flourish that makes Rick feel oddly…at _home_.  “So, ya like it here?”

“Yeah.  I mean, the food’s shit and the classes are fucking _hard_ , but I like what I’m learning and I’ve met a lot of really cool people.”  He has to bite his tongue to keep from telling his best friend in the whole world about the _amazing_ blow job he received from his and Glenn’s new roommate.  He doesn’t really know _why_ he doesn’t want to say anything about it.  He knows Daryl enough to know that he won’t judge Rick for doing something with another guy, it’s just…

Well, whatever.

He just won’t say anything.

“Good for you, man.”

Daryl slips into the driver’s side of his truck and Rick is kind of put out by the thought that this is probably the best send-off he’s gonna get.

Until Daryl rolls down the window to flick out his cigarette and sticks his hand out to grab Rick by the front of his t-shirt.

Daryl kisses him like a bruise and Rick wonders when it became acceptable for best friends to kiss each other like this, because he isn’t exactly complaining and he wonders if he can convince more of his friends to try it out.

**v.**

Rick is well on his way into the junior year of his college experience and he’s fucking _hammered_.

He _thought_ he could handle it.

He thought he could handle seeing Daryl again after realizing that he was kind of head-over-ass in love with his best friend.

But then Daryl showed up at Shane’s party—with a new _tattoo_ , for Christ’s sake—and Rick had to excuse himself to the bathroom before he threw up all over the carpet.

So he drinks until the room is spinning and _then_ he hugs Daryl.  Tells him how much he’s missed him and “ _damn, man, did you get even stronger?  Nearly crushed my ribcage!_ ”

Daryl doesn’t exactly to look happy to see him, though.  He has this stupid mother hen look on his face, and he glares daggers at Shane as he grabs Rick’s arm and starts leading him towards one of the house’s empty rooms.

Shane just shrugs and mouths something that Rick is too confused to make sense of.

They end up in Shane’s bedroom (obvious by the walls plastered with posters of half-naked women posing on the hoods of expensive cars.  Growing older, apparently, didn’t stop Shane from the immature act of staring pathetically at his own walls for entertainment).

Rick laughs as Daryl shoves him down on the bed and hands him a bottle of water that Rick is drunk enough to think came out of nowhere.  “Drink this, dumbass.”

“Don’wanna,” Rick slurs.  “Want…” he trails off with a hiccup, which he guesses is kind of a good thing because he almost just told Daryl how bad he wants his dick.

He does, though.  He really, really, _reallyreallyreally_ does. 

It’s not until the room stops slanting enough to see the look of shock on Daryl’s face that Rick realizes he probably said it out loud, anyway.

“Shit,” he groans.  “That’s not…I didn’t wanna…not like _that_ …”

Daryl looks pissed and Rick wants to cry, only he’s so drunk that he can’t do anything but laugh.

“You’re such a fucking idiot.”  Daryl’s voice is quiet as he says this.

They start kissing somewhere between Rick’s dead laughter and Daryl’s hands flying to his belt.

Rick groans like a slut into Daryl’s mouth because _holy shit_ he tastes awesome.  Better than he remembers.  He fumbles with his own hands until he’s pressing his palm against the other man’s crotch, breath hitching in his throat when he realizes that fuck, yeah, _he’s hard too_.

Although Rick doesn’t exactly remember how it happened, he doesn’t complain when he realizes that Daryl has him pinned to the bed with his wrists above his head.  Their hips are rolling and Daryl is still kissing him and he swears to God he’s going to die.

Everything is a blur, but he’s definitely aware of Daryl’s hand wrapping around both of their dicks, tugging with the kind of skill that Rick isn’t nearly sober enough to think is at least a _little_ suspicious.

“Fuck,” Daryl pants, dropping his head to Rick’s shoulder.  “ _Rick, Rick, Rick_ …”

“Oh my God,” Rick moans, tears burning his eyes because _Daryl_.  Daryl Dixon is jerking them both off at the same time and he’s so in love with this man he’s _sososososooso fucking in love_.

Why couldn’t he have realized it sooner?

When he wakes up, he’s in a bed all by himself and the only thing he remembers is the fact that he had the most amazing orgasm of his life last night. 

He smiles even as his head throbs.

He hopes whoever it was with left their number.

**rick finally gets it.**

Beth is looking at him like he’s the biggest idiot on the entire fucking planet.

“You two are just…”  She trails off and shakes her head.  “ _You_ are just _oblivious_.”

Rick blinks at her.  “Uhm?”

“No, you _idiot_ , Daryl and I are _not_ dating.”  She speaks slowly and with wide eyes, like talking to a baby.  “Because he likes _you_.”

“What?”  She’s obviously trying to pull one over on him.  It’s a good thing he knows better than to believe her.  Damn Beth Greene and her unintentional acts of cruelness.

At least, he thinks it’s unintentional.  She looks too innocent for any of it to be deliberate.

“That’s not funny,” he practically spits, shifting closer to her when the bartender passes him his drink.  After Glenn and Maggie’s engagement, they all met up at the bar for a kind of makeshift celebration.  “I mean…dammit, Beth…”

She rolls her eyes as she snags his beer and takes a greedy sip.  “Get your shit together and go tell him how in love with him you are _right this minute_ , Rick Grimes.  I’m done listenin’ to him cry about you.”

His jaw falls slack as he looks from her to Daryl, who is currently grinding like crazy on some random college girl.

“I don’t really think you know what you’re talkin’ about,” he mumbles.

“Oh my _God_ , Rick!  You two have kissed, like, a billion times and you seriously think none of it meant anything?  And what about that night you two snuck off to do God knows what at Shane’s party!”

“Wait, no, that wasn’t—“  He cuts himself off as he realizes that he never really _knew_ who he fucked around with that night.  “Holy shit.”  He grabs his drink back and chugs half of it in one go.  “So you’re tellin’ me…you’re _tellin’_ me that all of those kisses were more than just, like, two best friends being…uh, friendly?”

“Jesus, Grimes, maybe you are as hopeless as he says.”

“But Daryl’s straight!”  His voice gets so high and whiny that the bartender shoots him a glare.

Beth smiles at him like she feels bad.  “Oh, sweetie.  He loves boys more than _I_ do.”

Rick will dwell on that later, but right now his legs are turning to jelly and Daryl is making his way towards the bar and what the hell is he supposed to _do_?

And Beth—seriously, _screw_ her—doesn’t even stay to try and help.  She winks at Rick as she stands up, kissing Daryl on the cheek before motioning for him to take her seat.  “You two boys have fun.”

Daryl orders a beer and then he looks expectantly at Rick, probably waiting for the other man to start a conversation.

When he doesn’t, Daryl shrugs and starts to get up, but Rick reaches out and grabs his hand before he can slip away again.  “Hey, wait.”

Their eyes meet and Rick thinks he gets it, now.  How could he have been so _stupid_?

“I think I’m, uh, in love with you, man.”

Daryl’s eyes get comically wide and Rick feels like he’s just messed up to the point of no return.  Beth was definitely lying to him just to make him look like an idiot because maybe she was jealous or something and just wanted to ruin their friendship but why would she—

Daryl shuts up his brain with a kiss that tastes like whiskey and nicotine.  It’s different from all of their other ones.  Sweeter, somehow.

Rick wants more, wants to make new memories to replace the ones he apparently can’t remember, but Daryl is pulling away slowly and yeah, _shit_ , they’re kind of in a _very_ public place.  A couple girls sitting next to them start giggling and Rick’s ears burn.

Daryl just smiles, though, squeezing Rick’s hand and brushing one last kiss against his cheek.  “Took you long enough, dumbass.”

Rick doesn’t stop smiling until the bartender tells the two of them to leave before he _literally_ pukes all over them.


End file.
